Inspired by PostSecret.blogspot.com, I will be putting myself out there too. Out with some humiliating, embarrassing, not-so-proud of, dirty secrets of my own, in the hope that it will allow me to explore my hidden side and embrace my untold truths and live and love on as a free mind and soul. And this, not anonymously.
Readers, only if you have your non-judgemental glasses and open-mind hats on, will you be allowed to go beyond this point. A point of no return, if you do decide to judge and alter current impressions about me. A point of change in our relationship, if you decide to embrace my untold truths and let me unravel in front of you.
1. I love Bollywood songs. LOVE. I switch on MTV (Non-Stop Hits) or Channel V(Zabardast Hits) as soon as I wake up. I enjoy hip-hop, house, trance, electronica and rock sometimes, but LOVE bollywood music and telugu too, on occasion.
2. I dance around the house in my purple nightie, with 'haldi' on my pimples and protein cream on my thinning hair.
3. I have already kissed two younger men and I am only 23. Am I a cradle snatcher?
4. I remember, laughing at the concept of arranged marriage for years together and still do openly rip it to pieces within conversations with friends. But as Hetch pointed out, and that moment I vehemently denied it, I am secretly hoping that I can find the 'perfect' guy for me through this traditional system of finding mates. I am tired of playing this love game, sick of heart breaks and wish that love would just fall into my lap this time, without effort or complication.
5. I blame myself for my failed relationships. I wish I had done things differently. I wish I had not hurt my Exs, even if it was inadvertent and unintentional.
6. I love eating Cerelac. I could eat it all day long. I need to grow up.
7. I generally appear confident about my curvaceous figure, my curly hair and my dusky complexion but I secretly wonder how life would have been different if was skinny, fair and had long, straight hair.
8. I love licking my plate after I am done eating Maggi Noodles or 'Rasam' and rice.
9. I wish I had let loose in Canada, travelled more and made more friends, rather than concentrate on studying and working on my career through the four years that I was there.
10. I secretly freak out that I chose the wrong career. I fantasize about an alternate career and lifestyle as a singer, dancer ,an actor, a social worker, a poet or even a copywriter. Yes, Alok and Hetch can please go ahead and feel privileged to be what I could never be.
11. I bite my tongue every time I am rude or sarcastic with mom but I can't help but get irritated with her, even though I love her immensely.
12. I wish I could be unselfish and help my Dad with his business. I know how happy it would make him and how unhappy it would make me and that keeps me on the fence. Isn't there a middle-ground?
13. I wish I could commit to the nice guys that love me and adore me. The guys I actually want can never do me justice, but I still want them. My head needs fixing.
14. I wish I had childhood friends like everyone else.
15. I can never remember directions, even to places I go to everyday. Is something medically wrong with me? I wish I could get a navigating system installed in my head.
16. I am known to be a person of fleeting interest. I am shit-scared that I will never be able to settle down with one person because he might not be able to entertain and engage me every day for the rest of my life. How will I get married? And stay married?
Note: No one is allowed to question me on the truths mentioned above. This is more for me than you. So shut up, absorb and embrace.
7 comments:
Dear Sue,
I know this is more for you and less for your readers. However... for all its worth just wanted to let you know that you are not alone..
I can relate to a lot of them myself
4-I am completely in line with you in terms of your past & current take on Arranged marriage.. Who wouldnt fall prey to the temptation of getting things the easy way :P
6-I love to eat cerelac myself (Interestingly enough Cerelac happens to be one of the products that i offer consultancy for - wonder if i could say that they should expand the definition of their target group as one of the insights??)
7-I wonder that sometimes too.(Although i am as blessed as you are, i keep thinking what if i finally decide to hit that gym that i have been thinking of since years)
10-I have thought about it various times. I don't think i am capable enough to become a novelist however i hope to become a columnist in some women's magazine someday (No other magazine would take me , i guess... who knows maybe the women magazines also reject me...but hope keeps me alive!!)
15- I too have a bad sense of direction.(Hmm... Gender specific problem??)
Sorry to have used so much space...you got me thinking & I just got carried away...
Oh! Oh ! A faux pas...
in 7 - i meant i am NOT as blessed as you are
:P
Now, tell me something I don't already know.
@paradox: I remember your Cerelac story very well, I hope you remember mine too!
@Sue: For your "benefit" (pun intended), I would steal my sister's Cerelac when she was a baby, now that is a confession. :$
11- Ditto, so sad and yet so true (sigh)
What's my lucky number, again? ;D
@Sue,Paradox 4- I think you hit the nail on the head, Paradox; also there is something/someone else (read parents) to blame if it doesn't work! :P
15 - again, paradox you got it spot on! :D
I see dead people.
Not really, but I confess that I'm so jealous that I don't 'suffer' from half the chaos that rules your life. I lead a happy, staid, stable and an unpredictable life. In short, a very, VERY boring life. Enjoy this craziness while it lasts. You don't know when you may have to grow up.
Brilliant!
I feel like kicking myself for not hanging out with you more when i could.
:-]
@ paradox phillic:
It does make me feel better, only slightly though, that I am not alone. Lol.
6- Wow, consulting for cerelac huh? Do you get free samples of different types to taste? Yummy.... You should tell me more about your job later.
7- Oh Please, you are cute only :P
15- NO..... I refuse to bow down to stereotypes as I have seem brillaintly sure women when it comes to directions and geographic placements.
@ hari: Oh please, you don't know me that well.
@ anand: Well, I would steal my dogs cerelac. Now that is really bad. (Ok I just said that to beat you, it is not really true!)
11- Don't push it, buddy :P
@ alok: Ok, I know you look as young as the the kid in the movie but that's where the similarity ends.
boring is good sometimes. Rollercoaster lives are tiring.
@ whatmark: thankee (taking a bow!)
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