Jun 20, 2008

the smoke stayed, the burn stayed. But, she was gone.

They enter the smoky club after a long day at work, looking forward to some good music and alcohol. R looks like he has been run over by a truck and S sure could use a little make up and some mousse for her hair.

S: Wow, this club is rockin’ tonight. I am kinda thirsty, can you get some beer for us?
R: Sure. Looks like the bar counter is crowded. I will be back.

Fifteen minutes later, a hassled yet triumphant R returns with two cans of Fosters. He opens one can for himself and starts to raise the can to his thirsty lips when S, after looking at her freshly manicured nails, turns to R and stops him just before his first sip.

S: Can you open my can please. I don’t want my nails to break.

R looks at her, keeps his can on the large speaker beside him and pops open her can and hands it over. He turns around and picks up his beer.

R: Cheers!!

But S has already gulped down two large sips of that cold, refreshing beer. She looks unapologetic, and yet mouths a quick sorry to R before turning around to give a series of celebrity, page-3 kisses to bunch of her guy friends. She introduces R to “her boys” as she calls them.

R: Hi M, Hi R, Hi U, Hi…..uhh what’s your name, sorry?
S: Oh don’t worry, I will tell you the name later.

She walks off with her beer. R stands in a corner watching S go over to the DJ booth and give the DJ and his friends a hug. She starts to get a lil’ jiggy with one of them too and R wonders why she called him her date for the evening when they were driving over to the club.

All poor R can do was to sip on that beer. And so he does, at an accelerated pace. He finishes his beer in a couple of minutes. The crowd is thumping and swaying to the loud hip-hop music, but he can only see her. Her voluptuous body gyrating to the island beats like no one could believe. The men around her are eyeing her like a pack of hungry dogs would do a piece of meat. R wants to walk over there and yank her back to safety. He wants her next to him. But he doesn't.

After what seemed like an eternity, she walks back to where R was.

S: You aren't you having fun. What’s your problem?

He wants to yell, “Well, you are supposed to be my date and I hate hip-hop music and I don’t know anyone here and you keep walking away from me. “ R stays quiet and shrugs his shoulders instead.She shrugs back her shoulders and starts to chat with some girl.

R: Can I have a sip of your beer?
S: No.

R is stunned. Did she just say "no"?

R: But I want a sip.
S: Then go get yourself another beer. I don’t want to give up the last two sips of mine because that would make me want another beer and I cannot afford another beer. It is 400 calories. How can you be so insensitive and not care about what’s important to me?
R: Oh. I’m sorry. I think I will get myself one.

R returns after another twenty minutes of bring jostled, groped and pushed around by drunks at the bar. S has finished that beer and is grinding this random guy to the ground. R is really getting upset now, but she suddenly walks over to him as soon as she sees him return. R is surprised. Maybe there is hope. She smiles at him, hugs him and starts to dance with him. R is panicking on the inside but still on the outside. He can’t dance for nuts. She is really turning him on now. He just wants to pull her hair back and kiss her. Right there, right then. He couldn’t. So he turns his face away and starts to message this friend to take his mind of the sexual tension brewing in his pants.

S: I cannot believe you are messaging some damn person while I am dancing with you. What the hell is wrong with you? Really!!

R is dumbstruck. It was amazing how loud and clear her voice was in all that din. She snatches his beer and takes two large gulps while she looks over into his phone to see who he was messaging.

S: N? Who is this? Do I know her? Is she hotter than me?

R starts to sweat. This was all going wrong. Why was she angry with him. And why was she drinking his beer. He had wanted to be the one to say “no” this time.

R(stuttering): She is just a friend.
S: Whatever, there are ten other guys here that would love to dance with me and pay attention to me when I am with them. You have yourself a good night then.

She pulls out a cigarette and touches the back pockets of her tight jeans looking for a lighter. R lights her smoke for her. He then holds her hand to keep her walking away.

S: Whatever man. I gotta go.

She blows the cigarette smoke in R’s face. And she is gone. The smoke stayed, the burn stayed. But she, the fire that had brightened his whole existence, was gone.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ouch... hits so close to home for many guys I know :S

Haha... of course, some of them deserve it.

Nice, nice. I told you you write great!

Hari said...

Nice story. Have you seen "The shape of things to come"? I dunno why, but this kinda reminds me of that.

She's a bitch. And a stupid one at that.

Fictitioustruth said...

no morals story with a moral.

Sue said...

@ alok: I'm sorry I put my finger on so many raw wounds, but both my characters are grossly exaggerated.

but thanks, puppy... get a copywriting job and then I will truly believe you.

@ hari: No, I haven't seen it... Is it a movie? Who is in it?

Yup, S is a bitch and proud to be one.

@ fictitioustruth: ok, I was quite confused by your comment. Can be interpreted in many ways. But a friend of mine thinks you speaking in R's defense. Is he right?

Paradox Philic said...

Hey Sue... our common friend directed me to your blog and recommended this post...

Love the underlying humour.Even the knowledge (refer ur comment above) that it was grossly exaggerated doesn't take away the humour ... and thats commendable!!!

Good job, girl...
Maybe you should take Alok seriously and try your hand at (copy)writing..
:)

Sue said...

@ paradox phillic: thankeee :D

the common friend believes you are high on the humour quotient too so a compliment from you means much.

Copywriting is hard. I am not good enough.

Please keep reading. It would be nice to have a woman's perspective in the comments. Too many boys..lol

Fictitioustruth said...

I speak for the frivolity of the moment.

Sue said...

@ fictitioustruth: Aaaah. True. But life sometimes plays with you and some of these frivolous moments lead to hard-hitting consequences.

Hari said...

@sue. Profound. Very profound.

Fictitioustruth said...

".......frivolous moments lead to hard-hitting consequences."

Ah,now we are on Chaos theory and the famous "butterfly flapping wings" example.

Thousand apologies saar (ref: "mind your language" for the new generation or is it lost generation) for the above comment, but then your story is also a tease.