I think I have lost touch with myself somewhere along the way. I can't just be alone anymore. My destructive, dark thoughts eat me up when I have no one else to distract me. I don't enjoy my company. If I don't enjoy being with me, who will?
I read a quote somewhere that says, the difference between the glowing success story and the crushing failure isn't luck, or fate, or intelligence, it's the ability to bounce back. So true, and that only comes from really knowing your worth and realising that you have the power to do whatever you want. To love and believe in yourself, is the hardest task for me, but once I master it, I am the master of the world. ( Wait!!! gender-baised words in this sentence are bugging me...but I don't think I can say 'once I mistress it', can I?)
A poem below by Veronica A. Shoffstall, who at a tender age of nineteen, really understood the essence of it all and penned it so beautifully:
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you are really strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...
6 comments:
2 weeks ago, a second of lonliness and I'd be ready to tear my hair apart.
Sometimes, a change of perspective, thought, scenario, makes all the change.
I really like doing thigns by myself now. I love the alone time, and I am back enjoying my own company. It takes time. It takes relization. It also takes a helping hand, sometimes.
Cheers,
B
My wish!
@ morpheus: Self-love was a never problem for you morpheus. Too much self-love was the issue :P
But thanks for the advice anyway.
@ hari: Is it your wish to love yourself more or that I love myself more??.... I am confused...as usual.
"If I don't enjoy being with me, who will?"
sue, i am totally inspired by this line. how true! how profound!
very very well said.
and thanks for the compliment on my post. makes me shrink and bloat with pride at the same time.
: )
heya sue, awesome post this! totally agree with bhavna on that line, among others!
and thanks for your comment on my (ahem) "piece" - had to delete the post as i realized my sisters read my blog too!
:-)
peace, love, empathy
rc
@ bhavna: I am glad you like... actually I am not such a bad self-pity case, I generally find myself quite entertaining and amusing... the post is a result of a down-day.
And really, I am amazed at how well you can write sometimes.. Kudos!
@ rc: Thanks Mr. Cobain, I am glad you liked the post.
Kinda sad that the "piece" had to be pulled back from the public eye...lol... But I am glad I gotta a "sneak peek" :)
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