Free to be me

stranded at that critical crossroad in life,
shouldering a heavy burden of societal duty
a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife
i wonder why i feel violated - when do i have time to be me?
can i ever really be free....
of inhibition, expectation and obligation.
free to be who i want to be - the real suchi

for once i just want to surrender to my 'id' , my sinful creation
let my raw instincts lead me to that fulfilling place.
and as I race to reach my soul's desire
feeling the cool breeze of success on my face
success - not tainted by society's definition but emerging from my inner fire
freedom as a concept has enjoyed immense attention for ages
history defined slavery as unacceptable - an infringement of choice,
slavery - abolished they may argue - but blatantly or latently , humans are still in cages
even we, as members of the 'forward' society, feel like we have lost our voice
bound by society, law, relationships, the economy ...we leave ourselves behind
Shakespeare hit the nail - "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players" he said
our lives, roles, costumes , interactions with others are all - pre-defined?
so no decision in life, is really only ours......i wonder, is free will dead?
personal freedom is harder to attain if you are indian or a woman...or worse - both
India - where conformity is tradition - and the master is always male
dictating how she leads her life or, may i call it an existence with no hope of growth
chains, digging deep into my flesh, leaving traces of my individuality behind in a bloody trail
i know that my soul and my mind shall die ,
unless i release them and let them fly
before society, rules and my own internal demons decide to devour me....
I shall take the chance - risk being an anomie
my own personal revolution that shall go down in the history of my life
break free till i can say i really lived, till my last breath extinguishes in strife
for once, I shall be the king of my own and not merely a pawn
carve my own path and fight....till i see dawn.

break ke baad....

And almost a month later she returns to write her entry...blame it on two full-time jobs ( one of them being her man ), a trip to goa and a generally turbulent period.....

Now when I say turbulent, my professional and personal foundations were heavily shaken up by situations equalling 16 on the richter scale. You know... when all your life, you think you want to do something really bad....and somehow manipulate your life to end up doing it , only to find out that it wasn't all that at all.....back to square one, with no contingency plan.... advertising was always a dream, only to find out i actually might suck at it or maybe it was just teething problems and i was too chicken to stick on.... :S, well atleast i can say i dared to try, even though it looks like a few months flushed down the toilet on the surface, I can say that there surely were a few great lessons learnt and a few fantastic friends made.

a return trip to canada and then corporate communications.....may god bless me!

finally......

she has her own blog :)
she can rant, she can huff n puff, she can whine about everything under the sun without having to worry if anyone is listening
( okay, so there are a couple of good days here or there too ).....this is where it all is........the chronicles of sushi.....

as she goes full-power on her own online space, you might want to stay tuned for more!